01/04/01

Dad was as conservative as they come, hated FDR as much as Stalin or Adolf Hitler. Probably wouldn’t have Social Security or welfare if it were up to Dad. Might still have black people riding in the backs of buses and women staying at home in the kitchen too. At one point in my life I thought I knew everything. I had all the answers too. Then you find yourself in a Cold War with your wife, retreated to the trailer out back in Winter freezing your fucking ass. You find your son serving hard time in the Wallkill Correctional Facility, the Umbria Crime family still waiting for the day to crush his balls. Your one and only grandchild--- Moo-Shoo--- is a mixture of every nationality imaginable, born in a toilet on Lander Street in Newburgh addicted to crack cocaine. You find your daughter’s husband, Cornelius -—the best candidate you had to pass the farm on to—- has got some freaky obsession to do away with his manliness and own a vagina and boobs. You find yourself driven out of the fire department where you’ve been a volunteer for some 30 fucking years. You look up one day and realize you haven’t set foot in church for most of a decade. You find yourself a convicted felon, not even supposed to keep guns anymore. Even the dog doesn’t seem to want anything to do with you, keeps running off and getting lost. God damn beagle!

Yeah, I’m one fine one to point to as a fucking Paragon of Conservatism.