I guess I’m crazy. Phebe was home from work today to be with the baby. First thing in the morning there’s this call. Phebe says it’s Dr. Hardik. She thinks the call is for an appointment. Swami says he’ll pay me a hundred dollars if I show up with my truck in Newburgh to dispense refuse posthaste. So I spent most of the day throwing out the contents of one of Swami’s vacated apartments. Lots of broken furniture full of roaches. This surly dude climbed into the bed of my truck at one point and began slicing open a soiled mattress until he found a plastic bag of what I’m guessing was crack cocaine stashed inside. He got what he wanted I guess. Left me alone. I was plenty scared though, thought I’d shit my pants. On the way to the dump I drove along the river, noticed police activity along the river bank.
Looking out across Newburgh Bay I got to thinking a little about the Phebe Reynolds story I’m supposed to writing. I was thinking how impressive it was for the Continental Army to float a great chain across the Hudson on logs the way they did at that spot. That wouldn’t be so easy to do today either even with our technology. Suppose you could have the chain links float on top a line of soiled mattresses cleaned out of Dr. Hardik’s vacated apartments spanning clear across to Beacon.
Later I heard on the radio the body of an unidentified male was pulled from the river. Maybe they found Porch Rot.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
03/23/01
I asked Swami yesterday how Cornelius was doing. He said he didn’t know. I guess Cornelius cussed him out and walked off the job some time recently.
So much for Cornelius being rewarded by Swami for his steadfast service with his own lush riparian oasis of the proportion of Eden.
Maybe you would like to take over his position, Swami says to me to my astonishment.
I don’t know why, but my reply of ‘no’ came after some hesitation. Phebe’s got me housebound with the care of the baby most days. I practically have to beg for pocket money from her. Somehow the thought of a job--- my own way of making money apart from hauling scrap metal to Middletown--- seemed attractive at that moment even while knowing the job involved servitude to an asshole slumlord. All I ask is to have some time outside of the house once in a while and some money of my own in my pocket. Is that too much to ask, Phebe?
I’m becoming Betty Fucking Crocker.
I’ve been letting Phebe handle all the communication with Rocky’s lawyer. I haven’t really been able to face it. I just have these depressing thoughts that Rocky will either be killed in prison or I’ll be dead before he ever gets out---that we’ll never walk together again in freedom. Not to say we ever got along very well before that we took walks together, but you know what I mean. There’s no happy outcome that I can see. From what I can gather from Phebe it looks like they’re working on a plea deal for Rocky to admit to manslaughter with a certain number of years added on to his sentence.
The idea of me possibly being Mookie’s main father-figure growing up seems way too screwed up to me.
So much for Cornelius being rewarded by Swami for his steadfast service with his own lush riparian oasis of the proportion of Eden.
Maybe you would like to take over his position, Swami says to me to my astonishment.
I don’t know why, but my reply of ‘no’ came after some hesitation. Phebe’s got me housebound with the care of the baby most days. I practically have to beg for pocket money from her. Somehow the thought of a job--- my own way of making money apart from hauling scrap metal to Middletown--- seemed attractive at that moment even while knowing the job involved servitude to an asshole slumlord. All I ask is to have some time outside of the house once in a while and some money of my own in my pocket. Is that too much to ask, Phebe?
I’m becoming Betty Fucking Crocker.
I’ve been letting Phebe handle all the communication with Rocky’s lawyer. I haven’t really been able to face it. I just have these depressing thoughts that Rocky will either be killed in prison or I’ll be dead before he ever gets out---that we’ll never walk together again in freedom. Not to say we ever got along very well before that we took walks together, but you know what I mean. There’s no happy outcome that I can see. From what I can gather from Phebe it looks like they’re working on a plea deal for Rocky to admit to manslaughter with a certain number of years added on to his sentence.
The idea of me possibly being Mookie’s main father-figure growing up seems way too screwed up to me.
03/22/01
Percy drove me and the baby back to Newburgh today to see Betty and Fauntleroy. Percy was happy to talk over a practice schedule with Fauntleroy for the cricket team. At one point Fauntleroy asked me what position I was going to play on the team. I said as far as I was aware I wasn’t on the team.
And then Fauntleroy says to Percy: No, no, Mon! Me and Joseph are a pockidge! I will only play on the team if Joseph plays. We are a pockidge deal, Mon!
I told Fauntleroy I didn’t know a thing about the game. He told me not to worry, that he would be the captain and he would let me know what to do.
Percy is like: But I thought I would be the captain. . .
No Mon.
Apparently Betty’s daughter got out of jail somehow. I asked Betty where she was. She says with half her face slackened: The hell if I know!
I managed to get seen by Swami Hard Salami while I was out that way.
Percy tried to complain to Swami about Fauntleroy taking over as captain of the team.
Of course he should be captain, Swami says with blunt cruelty, your breadth of experience in cricket is quite miniscule and inconsequential while Fauntleroy’s is very, very substantial. There is literally no comparison!
Swami asked me if I was still having delusions that my farm property was worth 5 million dollars. He wrote me out a new script for anti-depressants. At least now on paper I’m back in compliance with my probation terms. Don’t delude yourself into thinking I’ll actually be taking those damn pills though.
And then Fauntleroy says to Percy: No, no, Mon! Me and Joseph are a pockidge! I will only play on the team if Joseph plays. We are a pockidge deal, Mon!
I told Fauntleroy I didn’t know a thing about the game. He told me not to worry, that he would be the captain and he would let me know what to do.
Percy is like: But I thought I would be the captain. . .
No Mon.
Apparently Betty’s daughter got out of jail somehow. I asked Betty where she was. She says with half her face slackened: The hell if I know!
I managed to get seen by Swami Hard Salami while I was out that way.
Percy tried to complain to Swami about Fauntleroy taking over as captain of the team.
Of course he should be captain, Swami says with blunt cruelty, your breadth of experience in cricket is quite miniscule and inconsequential while Fauntleroy’s is very, very substantial. There is literally no comparison!
Swami asked me if I was still having delusions that my farm property was worth 5 million dollars. He wrote me out a new script for anti-depressants. At least now on paper I’m back in compliance with my probation terms. Don’t delude yourself into thinking I’ll actually be taking those damn pills though.
03/21/01
Before I even had a chance to call Dr. Hardik this morning to reschedule an appointment with him I found him standing at my door. It was first thing in the morning. Percy brought him over.
The tract is in dire need, Swami Hard Salami says, so desolate! But development would not be impossible! I would imagine all this land would perk well on these elevated areas, although those lower areas may not. Your street could be cut in right about here. Or here through where the house is. It is so lamentable you have such unrealistic ideas about price! I could have $800,000 in your pocket for this place, posthaste. I am very serious about that. You should seriously consider! $800,000 is a very reasonable and appropriate sum! Very reasonable and appropriate!
Percy’s wasn’t expecting all this real estate business. His only interest was in getting me take him and Swami to see Fauntleroy to recruit Fauntleroy for the cricket team. I guess Percy wasn’t aware that Swami had promised to stop by the farm to see it when the weather got better. My main interest in the whole thing was getting something in writing from Swami to give to Cupid Boy that said I didn’t need to be on medication anymore, but Swami quickly seized upon my request as leverage in his deal making.
If you are telling me this clapped out dairy is worth 5 million dollars in this current state than most certainly you are delusional and in need of administration of medication. Conversely, if you told me you would accept $850,000 for the property--- which I would say is a very reasonable and appropriate offer---then one may feel comfortable enough with the progress of the depressive episode to recommend the end of the medication regime.
Well, that didn’t get anywhere. Apparently I’m still profoundly delusional.
Fauntleroy said yes to playing on the team. He looked in pretty rough shape though. When he stood up, sounded like a dozen bones cracking at once.
Betty’s looking in pretty rough shape too. They were disappointed I didn’t bring the baby over. Baby stayed with Phebe. I’ll have to go back soon. Betty said her daughter’s in jail in Goshen right now. She asked if I had any money to get her out. I told her no. She looked at me like she didn’t believe me.
The tract is in dire need, Swami Hard Salami says, so desolate! But development would not be impossible! I would imagine all this land would perk well on these elevated areas, although those lower areas may not. Your street could be cut in right about here. Or here through where the house is. It is so lamentable you have such unrealistic ideas about price! I could have $800,000 in your pocket for this place, posthaste. I am very serious about that. You should seriously consider! $800,000 is a very reasonable and appropriate sum! Very reasonable and appropriate!
Percy’s wasn’t expecting all this real estate business. His only interest was in getting me take him and Swami to see Fauntleroy to recruit Fauntleroy for the cricket team. I guess Percy wasn’t aware that Swami had promised to stop by the farm to see it when the weather got better. My main interest in the whole thing was getting something in writing from Swami to give to Cupid Boy that said I didn’t need to be on medication anymore, but Swami quickly seized upon my request as leverage in his deal making.
If you are telling me this clapped out dairy is worth 5 million dollars in this current state than most certainly you are delusional and in need of administration of medication. Conversely, if you told me you would accept $850,000 for the property--- which I would say is a very reasonable and appropriate offer---then one may feel comfortable enough with the progress of the depressive episode to recommend the end of the medication regime.
Well, that didn’t get anywhere. Apparently I’m still profoundly delusional.
Fauntleroy said yes to playing on the team. He looked in pretty rough shape though. When he stood up, sounded like a dozen bones cracking at once.
Betty’s looking in pretty rough shape too. They were disappointed I didn’t bring the baby over. Baby stayed with Phebe. I’ll have to go back soon. Betty said her daughter’s in jail in Goshen right now. She asked if I had any money to get her out. I told her no. She looked at me like she didn’t believe me.
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