03/22/01

Percy drove me and the baby back to Newburgh today to see Betty and Fauntleroy. Percy was happy to talk over a practice schedule with Fauntleroy for the cricket team. At one point Fauntleroy asked me what position I was going to play on the team. I said as far as I was aware I wasn’t on the team.

And then Fauntleroy says to Percy: No, no, Mon! Me and Joseph are a pockidge! I will only play on the team if Joseph plays. We are a pockidge deal, Mon!

I told Fauntleroy I didn’t know a thing about the game. He told me not to worry, that he would be the captain and he would let me know what to do.

Percy is like: But I thought I would be the captain. . .

No Mon.

Apparently Betty’s daughter got out of jail somehow. I asked Betty where she was. She says with half her face slackened: The hell if I know!

I managed to get seen by Swami Hard Salami while I was out that way.

Percy tried to complain to Swami about Fauntleroy taking over as captain of the team.

Of course he should be captain, Swami says with blunt cruelty, your breadth of experience in cricket is quite miniscule and inconsequential while Fauntleroy’s is very, very substantial. There is literally no comparison!

Swami asked me if I was still having delusions that my farm property was worth 5 million dollars. He wrote me out a new script for anti-depressants. At least now on paper I’m back in compliance with my probation terms. Don’t delude yourself into thinking I’ll actually be taking those damn pills though.