02/09/01

Probation Officer Barbie asked me if I drove in with my tractor and wagon today. I thought she was being sarcastic. Turns out it was a lead in to a personal favor she wanted to ask.

I say, no, the deputies kinda made it known the shit wagon isn’t allowed here anymore.

She seems all disappointed, says, you don’t know anyone who could get rid of a dead deer, do you? It’s been dead in my backyard for a week and I have my kid’s birthday party this weekend.

I say, I got a truck. I’ll take care of it for you. Where you live?

She gives me her address nearby in Hambletonian Park and then says, and if you don’t mind, maybe you could take away the dead koi too.

I get to the house and find the dead doe out back. It’s still got friggin sprigs of yew bush in its mouth. The deer has bullet wounds like it had been shot from above, like from a tree stand or something. . .or from a bedroom window. The koi pond looks like it’d been shot to hell too. Just as I look back at Barbie’s house thinking to myself what kind of psycho did this shit, I see this psycho guy in the upstairs window glaring at me menacingly. I’m not sure if it was a gun in his hand or not. He closed the curtain rather quickly.

Barbie’s got some stuff to work out in her own life it seems.

Good fucking gracious.