04/06/01

Swami Hard Salami called me this morning, asked me to meet him super secretly at his property on Montgomery Street before cricket practice. Seems Swami’s been obsessing on the antique bottles that might be buried in the old outhouse shaft I found on the property. Swami tells me I need to keep the matter a super secret from Percy. He wants me to dig out the shaft before Percy has a chance to get to it, take out any artifacts worth money and put back all the stuff that’s not worth anything to be dug up by Percy and his men’s group later as if for the first time. Swami said he’d pay me based on a percentage of what was found, but then I got worried there might not be anything worth anything there, so I asked to get paid by the hour. Now watch, there’ll be something found worth thousands of dollars. Anyhow, it’ll be nice to have some cash of my own. I’ll start the dig sometime this week if things dry out.

Turns out Cricket practice was rained out. I got time to chat with Fauntleroy for a while, waiting for the rain to end in a baseball dugout. I had the brilliant idea to ask him if he was one of them Rastafarians. He said no, he was one of them Secular Humanists. I have to say I was surprised, I told him I didn’t know Jamaica had Secular Humanists. He said sure, they live with magic elves in the mountain caves, Mon.

The more I learn about cricket the more I think it should just be given up for baseball. Wait, but that’s already been done.

They got more than 11 guys at the moment, so it looks like I’m gonna be a bench warmer. At this point I don’t think I give a shit.

And then I get a fucked up call from Cupid Boy after I got home. He says he went down the lane today looking for me at the Winnebago. Did you and your wife have sex back there or something? Because I found condoms strewn on the ground.

Uhm. . .yeah. . . as I recall that was. . .yeah. . . me and Phebe. . .littering.