4/7/01

Met Swami Hard Salami at his property along the river on Montgomery St. this morning.

Before we start our excavation we need to consider preparations, he says, we should take assiduous care to screen off our treasure-hunting activity from surrounding residents. This must be the most super secret of endeavors!

Your ass is paying me by the hour I think you can take all the assiduous care preparing for the super secret endeavors you want!

Here is an itinerary I have taken the liberty to prepare for you: First, you shall commence to my property on Lander Street, load the abandoned belongings from the first floor unit into your vehicle. Secondly, you shall commence with said vehicle to the municipal solid waste management facility to deposit said abandoned belongings aka DUMP. Thirdly, you shall travel to the lumber yard where you shall purchase a lock, a gate, 7 panels of privacy fencing and a requisite number of posts. You shall then return here and use these listed materials to build a surrounding privacy screen and security zone to the excavation. This structure built will of course conform in every manner with convention and good taste.

Thought to say to Swami ‘I ain’t like Hill Country Cornelia--- I ain’t no transvestite and I ain’t no carpenter neither!’

I wish you’d go on a bit more Dr. Hardik with your itinerary. Maybe you could commence to a sixthly and seventhly step to flesh out more exactly the ‘conforming with convention and good taste’ part!

Anyway, by the time the afternoon rolled around I was just starting to dig the holes for the posts. Too tired and filthy for Cricket practice. I blew it off. Maybe if Phebe takes the baby to church tomorrow morning I can get freed up to resume the steps of my itinerary of frickin assiduous preparation for the shit-digging.

I’m thinking you have to be an asshole to use the word assiduous. That’s why the prefix of the word is ass.