4/8/01

Swami Hard Salami told me a while back that “proximity is the biggest force to be contemplated when it comes to settling on a partner for fornication.” Yeah, that’s kinda interesting since I learn now his wife has been staying in India apart from him for like the last year!

I insulted the shit out of him today: Marital problems, Dr. Hardik?

Of course not! That is most impertinent! You should remember that modern electronic amenities make it possible to maintain high levels of sexual intimacy with a spouse, even at terrific distances!

So that was great. For the next hour working I had this picture of Swami jacking off in front of his webcam chanting oooh-baby to the little lady back in Delhi.

Phebe wasn’t happy I declined to go to church with her and the baby this morning. She said she’s worried about the baby growing up without a father or God, said I wasn’t doing much to help. I said let’s pray for a way to spring Rocky from jail then.

I’m such a dumb fucking heathen asshole.